The danger of being lonely is that you easily fall for the very first person who shows that you are not alone.
Dear Anon,
Today I woke up at 3:30 in the morning with a board review hangover and the first thing I did was to check if you have updated your status or if you have texted me…okay… i’m a pathetic stalker.
I haven’t seen you for days anon and I know I miss you badly, but I realized I can’t go through life clinging on everything that you do. You were not my life before and I have to face the fact that you will never be.
I realized how crazy I am daydreaming about what would happen between us. I feel really awkward and half ashamed. I expected better from myself and I never realized that I would go this low for a person…reality check : I did.
I will not take you away from your boyfriend nor be the reason for your misunderstanding. I know where I stand now and I have to accept it.
I am not bitter nor angry at you because I have no reasons to be. I want you to be happy because you were one of the people who supported me when I was struggling with my plight.
I am letting my heart free from you and I know that the most I could have with our relationship is friendship. I am happy and satisfied with that.
Moving on is simple because you gave me no reason to loathe you. I made my own illusion and now I am in my sane state again.
Starting today I will not write bitter thoughts. No more melodrama about not having you, no more teleserye-ish quotes about being just your option and no more trying to win you stuffs.
I guess all I want is for someone to love me the way I loved you. As much as I envy him for having you, I realized that perhaps there is still someone out here waiting for me too like how I waited for you and I don’t want to waste another moment thinking that there would be “us” in the future.
Yes… somehow, someday, we’ll find a new way of living.
I have lived most of my life not knowing you and I was fine. You entered my life and I became insane because I find you really attractive. I failed to realize that you are also a person who is capable of loving others. I became selfish and considered you as a prize.
I lost.
I don’t deserve you.
I became too secure of my place in your heart even if I don’t have any.
This is not farewell because we are friends and will always be.
I just wish that in time I also find the right one for me.
Because it seems like moving on is becoming somewhat my hobby…..
