THANK YOU 2011

I don’t want to end the year feeling bitter and sad, so I’ll light up some fireworks to give light to my dim heart~ BOOM BOOM BOOM!

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One of my favorite bloggers  (Robie Bautista of the creative dork) posted a year- end article to sum up his adventures this year.

So I took a small break from my review just to post this year end tribute ( a must to all the bloggers and blogger wannabes  like me.) to the year that was.

As unfathomable of an experience I had in the past few days, I would say that 2011 reached beyond my expectation, parang contest lang~, that said, I’ll have a recap of how 2011 hypertrophied a big leap forward to my promising  future.( muscle kung muscle!)

• My thesis was successful. My thesis mates and I had one of the highest grade, kahit na 1.75 lang, pwede na rin. There’s a big pressure on our shoulders because we were the second group to present after a not so successful one before us that took almost an hour. Hindi naman sa nang- aano but ours only consumed 20 minutes of the panel’s time including the scrutinizations.

prom?!

• I got to sing onstage, though it took two bottles of redhorse, i drank it straight up! and some pambubugaw from my cool aunts and uncles. It was liberating, siguro dahil doon, kaya they cant take away the mic from me anymore! ahahah

• 

they said drink moderately pero sila naman ‘tong abot ng abot ng bote

• I graduated. Basically I am now a pharmacy technician because I have a degree, but I am taking the exam next next week to formalize my being a pharmacist. It was a tear jerking ceremony. Especially the semi-gradball we did before the event. I never realized how corny,  off- fashioned and crazy I was back in college until the grad ball video presentation. All of us were teary eyed when all of our teachers gave their congratulations, ( dromooooo!)

supergramma and superken

• MANOR review. The review center we enrolled with is lead by the fore founders of pharmacy in the modern time Philippines, namely Dr. Imasa, Mr. Pecson and Mr. Quiming. I was inspired by their greatness and I promised myself that one day, I’m gonna be a teacher and be as cool as them.
• I didn’t took the june exam. Mainly because I felt unprepared pa, so I convinced myself to prepare more and take the January instead. I put into consideration the months I have to endure before I can have my license, and it’s a win- win since I’ll be 21 this February, a month after the January board exam. Makukuha ko na sya kaagad if ever so lucky that I’ll pass.
• I had my first job! And surprise surprise! I AM A TEACHER!. Dean asked me to teach so that I won’t just bum out during the months of preparation kasi naman for sure, facebook would consume all of my time. It was fun, exciting and meaningful.

The pile of manuals i had to check before the end of the day!

• I bought my first laptop. It took me several months to save up for my laptop and I finally bought one. It was the most expensive thing I bought in my entire life.
• I met new friends during our review at UP, galling pa silang Bulacan and Zamboanga.

• Nakalibot kami sa maynila ( I’ll feature the journey on my new blog, superkenchronicles)
• I felt loved, not just by someone but by a lot of people. I felt important and taken cared of, unlike some who took advantage and took me for granted ( emo?!) but I should be thankful though because I finally realized my worth and I won’t allow them to do that to me again.

my first surprised party! ( surprise? surprised?) ah basta, nagulat ako, and touched of course!

last day of my class for sem 1

• We had a splendid Christmas, complete family, lots of food and gifts. One of the best.
• New year ahead of me and I am still here breathing, maybe a bit heavier but still healthy.

just right now, i got a message. ( blushing)~ ahaha! asa!

 

it will be my isnpiration for the year to come!

malay mo, i’ll be the-not-so-single- superken-anymore! ahahaha

 

There’s so much to be thankful for and there’s no room for sourgraping and crying over spilled milk.

Thank You Lord for making 2011 a memorable one.

i would like to think that i am growing  better  as a man, human and person.

 

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!! thank God for another year to make things right!

tomorrow, the start.

Tomorrow I will forget.

About the things that happened and made me sad

About the awkward situations that caught me off guard

About you.

Tomorrow is the start

Of giving myself a break

Of prioritizing my career

Of realizing my real worth

But for the last time tonight,

I will feel the pain so that I would be numb by tomorrow

I will recall all the things that made me what I am right now

I will let my guard down and feel my vulnerability

I will endure the thought of losing you,.

Because tomorrow

Is the beginning of re-loving myself

Is the day  of being the better, newly improved me

Is the start of living without you

Is the start of living free.

who’s to blame

Who should be blamed when a leaf fell from a tree? Is it the wind that blew it away? Or the tree that let it go? Or is it the leaf who grew tired of holding on?

_________________________________________

I wonder how you are right now, I hope you are okay.

I know its been a while since I last checked on you.

Forgive me for letting you go because I have to give way to someone else, but as it turns out, I always end up choosing the wrong person. I wish I could have you back again and make solace of the lost time.

I never intended to put you as second choice all the time, but many a times I feel like you aren’t deserving of this attention. Forgive me for shattering your heart and always defying what you think is best for me. i want to listen to you again, I want you to knock my mind with reality and not with vague feelings and temporary joy they seem to be fond of giving me.

Have you been miserable? Ask me that question and I’ll reply with a yes.

I’ve been hurt again and I know that all I have is you as my comfort. Tell me what to do, be a friend and punch me with an “I told you so” then tell me what to do.

I think this time I’m irreparable. I know I have beaten you up so many times already and you’re growing tired of me repeating the same mistakes again and again.I cannot promise not to choose being stupid over being practical like what you’re always trying to tell me but please hear me out this time.

Much of what I am is still here, intact in a shell cracked in so many levels. But I know you can understand me, you’re the only one who can. I am choosing you now, and for the rest of the moment I will choose you.

I miss you.

I want you back.

I want the old Ken back.

HOW TO WIN SOMEONE’S HEART

HERE’S SOME POINTERS ON HOW TO WIN SOMEONE’S HEART

LITERAL NA HEART?! AHAHA

follow the steps:

1. makipagkaibigan ka
2. maging mabait ka
3. kulitin mo lang ng kulitin peRo dapat yung cute na kakulitan
4. be polite. i greet mo ng morning, lunch, dismissal, recess, break sa hapon, merienda, uwian, dinner, midnight snack at good night.
5. always remember lahat ng sinasabi nya sayo. kumustahin mo kung anong progress or nangyare sa mga events na kinukwento nya.
6. find a connection.

THEN:

• Suddenly stop texting, wag mong i-like yung status, magpa miss ka lang.
• Pag nagtext sya sayo, reply a simple yes, no, okay or anything without details
• you’ll recieve texts galing sa kanya na muhkhang gm, pero it is actually meant for you kasi may tone sa way of texting na parang nagpaparinig.
• magcre-crave yun sa attention mo, pero pigilan mo ang sarili mo and do not give in.
• then kung hindi mo na matiis, mag text ka ulet ng simple good morning (or whatever part of the day) then kumustahin mo kung kumanin na,
• make an excuse kung bakit hindi ka nakakareply in a way na lulusot ka sa pang snob mo, sabihin mong busy ka sa work, sa projects, exams, business, o kahit ano pang pwedeng pagka abalahan.
• pag innaccept yung excuse mo at mabait pa din sya sa iyo, then it’s a sign.
• take it from there!

REMEMBER, h’wag kang pa-fall kung wala ka rin namang balak saluhin.

try this exercise and tell me what happens!

this tip has a fairly good rate of success.

with the proper words and timing, sakto ito,

DO NOT FORGET TO BE YOURSELF, YUNG KAKULITAN MO NA HINDI NAKAKA OFFEND, PERO CUTESY LANG.

DISCLAIMER:

ang mga nakalathala dito ay pawang payo lamang ng isang kaibigang malapit sa akin, kathang isip man o may bahid ng katotohanan, walang masamang subukan!

hahaha!

GOODLUCK! let 2012 be a NOT-SO-SINGLE AWARENESS YEAR!

Have Yourself a Merry Christmas Moment

When I was young, I usually peak through the gifts with my name on it before Christmas and figure out what’s inside

Naughty boy!

behind the cute facade is a goat! ahahaha! see! ang inosente ko! diba diba?!

We usually wait for midnight before we open the presents and by then, I’m too sleepy to actually process what’s happening.

I often receive toys, clothes and money, which I don’t have a sense of value with yet. My parents would give me at least three presents, but it’s actually like a showcase: shirt, pants, shoes which I would wear in the morning when we visit my grandma and make pamasko.

Oh how I love receiving toys! especially the remote control car. I remember receiving one and using it to chase our dog.

I guess when I was on the stage of naivety, my world is just concern with the next toy I’m going to play, The gifts I’m  going to receive, the places where I could run wild and free and the only existing problem I have is how to escape bath time.

But as years gone by, the kahayokan for gifts and the willingness to run wild and free loses flare because of the new things that peels off the naivety in me. pero minsan masarap tumakbo sa kawalan… hahaha dromo

Now that I am 20, old enough to be a father, Angelito ang batang ama? Well, old enough to have my own space and my own decisions in life, it seems that taking a bath has become an escape and somehow a pleasure.

This Christmas is one of the most meaningful holidays I had because this year is one of the most challenging for me yet

I struggled with my purpose and calling in life, am I really meant to be a pharmacist? Or a teacher? Or a writer? Or perhaps I am meant for something less?

I lost people who are dear to me.

I felt exploited

I had become someone I dreaded to be: irrelevant.

But all these fears and all these plights had anchored me to the shore of my family’s love.

I can definitely say that with all the people around you, treasure your family most, because at the end of the day, the party would be over, everyone will leave you, but it would always be your family who will carry your over-drunk self and help you clean the horrendous mess that was left by the people who enjoyed your company for a time.

home made photobooth with my little cousin and sister

me and my siblings…ang tataba namin!

THEME: pajama party

No I wasn’t drunk this time though!

This Christmas is special because I feel special.

Not because of the toys or the clothes I received but because a midst all the things that happened this year, I loosened up. I left my inhibition outside the door and locked myself inside the love of my family.

Greeting my friends sa FB! ahaha! caught on cam

I received ample gifts from my siblings, cousins, relatives and friends and I am so grateful. But the best gift I received this Christmas is the gift of peace of mind and the feeling that I am loved. Not so often do people really feel this because perhaps we are afraid to look weak or emotional, but from time to time, when we exfoliate our real feelings, the shedding of the pretentions and troubles would simply peel off and it would feel refreshing.

supergramma and superken it’s in the nose people!

__________________________

Be joyous and appreciate the things you have. Be thankful and be good to everyone.

Find meaning from life’s experiences every time. Learn how to loosen up and share a part of yourself.  If you think people are laughing at you, learn how to laugh with them. Be open to the unconventional resolutions of problems and ALWAYS believe that you are BLESSED.

Time will pass by and you can’t do anything about it because it is the Time’s job to pass, what you can do is to make every second meaningful. Tell your family and friends how important they are to you. Share your blessings to those who need them, Comfort people who need comforting and learn how to give yourself to someone. This I am still in the process of learning.

Christmas is all about love, joy, peace and all the kind adjectives that should be put into practice.

Make lasting moments with your family

My mom said that we are fortunate enough  that despite our harsh financial status, we were blessed with food for christmas.

and i believe her.

 

 

Christmas itself is a miracle and well,  every day is Christmas.

So make everyday a miracle.

ONE MONTH LEFT!

 

 

I am so pressured with the upcoming board exam.

We had the pre-mock boards awhile ago and in order for me to assess whether I am ready enough for the real exam, I have to at least get 75% every module. There are six modules, each has 100 question ( brutal questions) out –of-the-world-saan-nanggaling-punyetang-yan-bat-may-ganyan-hindi-naman-naturo questions.

I failed at module 2 today; I had 66 points lang, which is not bad at all considering that I had the second highest score. Though I nailed module 1 and 3 quite suave, I can’t help but panic, overdose/sublingually take coffee, eat to death and bum out here in my room. SABAW NA ANG UTAK KO! It’s bleeding so bad that even intravenous procoagulants can’t fix it.

 

In addition to the real pressure of the exam, I had a terrible dream last night. If you have experienced browsing a name of a certain person at any PRC list of passers, you may have the idea of what I am talking about…

So last night I dreamt about the exam results. I was searching for my name but it wasn’t there. I searched for the initial of my family name, but it skipped. IT WASN’T THERE!!!!!!!!!!!! ODK! 

I was about to scream into shame, buti na lang my alarm saved me! Hay! Clichés of alarm clocks! They can either interrupt a good dream or save you from a nightmare.

Good thing I was able to get over it because I was happy with the pre-mock board results.

TONIGHT I’mma stay late again, bukas I’ll start the anticipated mass for simbang gabi and I will definitely complete the misa de galo., not just for the wish though, I think it’s also a nice way to feel the divine intervention.

 

No matter what happens, I know I am doing the best that I could and if ever so lucky I’ll pass the board, then I’ll be a good pharmacist, if not, there’s still another test in June….

From the almighty post of my friend:

Kung may pinagdadaanan ka, daanan mo lang. Wag mong tambayan.

TO ALL THOSE WHO WILL TAKE THE BOARD EXAM LIKE ME…. BEST OF LUCK TO US! 

NEVER EXPECT, NEVER ASSUME, IF IT’S MEANT TO BE, IT’LL BE

I am afraid to be the first to tell you how I feel because I am afraid that I might be rejected again.

I don’t want to claim mutual love under a false pretense of friendship or acquaintance.

I give so much meaning to the little things you do and I know this is the sign that I am falling for you.

I feel inspired by your words and I feel happy just to know that you are there, even afar.

I want to be serious with you, but these mixed signals make me hesitant because I don’t want to assume, but you’re making me.

I don’t want to get hurt or be shamed because I want to feel at least for one time that the person I am besotted with feels the same about me.

For tonight, I hope you could let my inner Mr. Darcy tell you this.

My affections and wishes

 

have not changed.

 

But one word from you

 

will silence me for ever.

 

lf, however,

 

your feelings have changed…

 

…I would have to tell you,

 

 

you have bewitched me,

 

body and soul, and I love…

 

I love… I love you.

 

I never wish to be parted

 

from you from this day on.

 

 

 

Real Good Friends

I went to the mall this afternoon and I was accompanied by my special friend. She accompanied me to buy presents for my siblings kasi I really don’t have any idea on what to give  my sister  and cousins cause all that blings and accessories look the same to me and I find it hard to choose, plus I feel awkward going inside girl shops alone! So I asked her to help me.

I used to have a crush on her when we were in college, she is quite popular while I’m kinda the wall flower.

Torpe ako, kung torpe cause I am always lost for words when she’s there and I really wanted to impress her whenever there were class presentations.

I drew a picture of her for her birthday actually, but I was only able to give it to her a year after (blame my katorpehan) I really don’t feel confident or worse, worthy to even try making friends with her because she’s too cute and I, the wall flower nerd with all that obsessive compulsive disorder don’t stand a chance.

Anyway, it was just in our fourth year that we became close, her best friend and I were friends, we belong in the same college, but in different sections. Her best friend and I were classmates while she’s from the other one because she didn’t like the early morning schedule.

I used to tease her best friend a lot and when I mean “a lot” it means from 7:30 am to 7:30 pm which is our schedule every week for six days.

I didn’t realize that her best friend would tell her all my craziness and then she would laugh at it.

When we were in fourth year, she had no choice but to be in our class because she and her best friend are thesis partners and as a rule they have to be in the same section.

I was excited really, but being the torpe that I am, I was reluctant to talk whenever she’s there. So I wasn’t able to tease her best friend for a while, but as the semester passed, we got along, but I really don’t know how.

Perhaps it was our barkada trip in Enchanted Kingdom that made us close.

 

She isn’t maarte at all. She’s game at everything, as a matter of fact I challenged her to try the zorb ball and we’d have a race, unfortunately all the single zorb were occupied so we settled for the multi-person one.

Forward to present.

She has a boyfriend.

Nope, not me, but I settled for that.  I am quite happy with how things turned out.

My relationship with her may not be romantic but it’s something special, we’re close friends. Like Jackie told budoy, boyfriends are replaceable, but close friends aren’t   (yeah, I’m a fan! deal with it!)

 

I don’t want to define the relationship really, but for the sake of a formal definition, I can settle with real good friends.

It’s a wonder how we could think of huge phenomena that could happen to us only to find out that what is meant to be is so much larger than life.

And for me, being able to just simply spend a day at the mall with her is larger than life…and her! Lol (no pun intended).

CHRISTMAS WISHLIST

I am not a materialistic person, when my necessities are satisfied, then I’m good to go.

My parents are to blame for this.

When my siblings and I were young, whenever the balikbayans would ask what we want for pasalubong, we were taught to respond in a vague manner like okay lang po kahit ano  or kayo na po ang bahala. So I find it awkward to ask for anything unless it is really necessary.

Another thing that made me seek less for more material presents or actually strive hard for the things that I want is the attitude my parents have in terms of tangible rewards.  When I was in highschool, I needed to top my class just for me to have a cell phone. Any reward I get comes from perseverance and god-wrenching effort I exude to level up with the prize at hand.

Especially now, I’m a bit uptight on asking for anything because I have graduated already. Though my board exam isn’t over yet, I believe that  its not an excuse to be as dependent to my parents as I was in college, plus I had my first job in the academe which gave me a glimpse of how hard it is to earn money.

I  actually bought my laptop from my first salary ( took me three months) and it felt sooo good to have something from my own ATM

If there were things I would ask for this Christmas, it wouldn’t be as tangible as when I was a kid, maybe it’s more sentimental or value/character oriented.

5.  GREETINGS FROM THE PEOPLE I LOVE.
 

- I really appreciate small acts of kindness like a text message from a loved one greeting merry Christmas. I once received a snail mail from my lola in Hawaii and I was so thrilled that I framed it. Small acts of kindness when bundled together, occupies spaces that are everlasting, so I really do appreciate greetings!

4.  OUT OF TOWN BACKPACK TRIP 

- I am an adventurous person despite the physical stubbornness,  I really like to see sceneries that are postcard worthy and I want to see the blue color of beaches, the radiant sky on a mid-sunny farm, the sunset in manila bay. I just love nature so much, unfortunately, I am still stuck on my review but perhaps after this exam.

3. BARKADA TRIPS

- My college friends are the wackiest people I know, game sila anywhere and that  is actually what I miss with college. I want to bond with them again, I know we have our separate lives now, but from time to time I like to have some time to catch up on the different stuffs that’s happening with our circle.

2. ACCOMPLISH AT LEAST ONE ON MY BUCKET LIST.

- My first article in my blog was my bucket list, though the list only have ten entries, I added so many thing in there now ( I’ll repost it sometime soon). I think my list is very accomplishable, except for the first one ( as of the moment).

1. TIME

- I want time to stop spinning so fast because I can’t even ride with it anymore. I wish it would slow down a bit because it’s too draining sometimes. I want to spend time searching for the right person, the right career, the right place and the right opportunity that would make me the best person that I can be. I wish I have an alarm clock that would wake me up whenever the opportunity, the place, the moment and the person meant for me is right in front of me.

Cheesy, yes…

But as I grow older, little by little I can feel that it’s  not really THINGS in materialistic presence that lightens up Christmas, but it’s  through the satisfaction  I  find from the ethereal gifts  under my inner Christmas tree.

MERRY CHRISTMAS